Swallowing Me

There are moments,
I won’t claim there are lots of them
but there are moments
when it all feels worth it
like I could go on forever
empty and alone
if somehow that might bring
just one more person
to some kind of peace

I want someone to hold me
to tell me that it’s all okay
that she loves me no matter what
that she always will
but for me that isn’t real
maybe that can’t ever be real

So I look at myself in the mirror
and wonder how many more
grey hairs and wrinkles it will be
until I get to stop hurting like this
get to stop pretending
that this hole inside of me
isn’t swallowing me